hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
