You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
