If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
