super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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