So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
