I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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