i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
someone owes me an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize