he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Randomize
