He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
