I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
