Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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