ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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