I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
She's not a foreskin expert like you
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
