I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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