addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
