I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
