i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize