Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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