Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
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Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
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and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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