There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
