um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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