She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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