1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
