Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
