how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
