I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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