my room smells like sperm. sweet.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
