I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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