I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
