ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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