I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
