Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
