I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
birth control should be required to get into college
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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