That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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