All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
