let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
