I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
