As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Randomize
