How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
