Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
