I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Randomize