it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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