are you still at the devil's house?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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