dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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