He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
there is glitter all over my balls
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
