I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
