I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
