craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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