How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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