Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
