So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
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I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm at about main and main street
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
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I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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