do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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