he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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