I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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