What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
