Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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