Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
