im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
