he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
