why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
