I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
