In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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