am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
