You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
