That's intense
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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