new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
