Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
