Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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